Conversation (imitating my friend's blog post)

A: How're you doing?

B: Totally bad.

A: Why?

B: I live in somewhere I've never known and never imagined and never expected before. I personally think that I dislike my current life since now I've lost all I used to have. Just imagine, no AC when this place is totally hot, no water heater, no proper WC, no adequate public transportation, no shopping center nor mall, no wi fi, no this and no that. I feel like I've just come to a primitive town.

A: is it really that scary?

B: ABSOLUTELY and OBVIOUSLY!!!

A: Well, so how is your new life in college now? what about making new friends?

B: Terrible *sigh*. College's life is so different with school's life. It seems more difficult and timeless. Lecture is not the same as class, but it's more like seminar. For God's sake, I was so sleepy at my first lecture. And for friends' stuff, uhm, since the culture here is so much different from Jakarta, it's quite hard for me.

A: Would you like to elaborate, please?

B: The language, the habits, the accent, the behavior, the discrimination, the face, the religion, the lifestyle, the fashion, the food, the mall, the weather, the movies, and many more which will be difficult for me since it's too much. I think if you know e very well, you can understand what I mean from those.

A: uh, OK. I think it seems too much much for you to think all of them. Can't you just get yourself relaxed a bit? I mean you probably can just take it easy man.

B: I wish I could. But you know, for my whole life, I've never ever experienced this. It's way too much much for me, as you said.

A: Okay, so what's your plan for next, and for your study star from here?

B: Honestly, I don't think there will be a way for me to return to Jakarta, though I still hope for that probability (you know what I mean). So it seems by the time I will be staying here for next 5 years. I guess I have no choice but to adapt here, though I know it's totally difficult. I hope I can make myself to study very hard in order to get good marks. Of course I want to succeed here. For facilities' problem, I hope fortunately my parents get a lot of money I don't know from who or where so that I can again spoil myself as I always used to. I also hope there will be lots of holiday so I can just return to Bogor and Jakarta to treat myself as proper as possible.

A: Okay, I don't think I need a very long interview, it may be enough for now. Thanks.

B: Okay, you're welcome.

August, 24th 2010

Today I feel something better than few previous days. I think I socialized much better and had good conversation with some people. I hope things are as good as they seem.

Sorry if this blog becomes something like a diary for me. Since I'm alone and there's nothing I can do else, blogging things I feel and experience is the only one can give me a good mood.

However, there is something make feel uncomfortable. Well, I know this one may make me seem AMBITIOUS very much, but it's just how I feel. My English Test result is not as I expected before. I know I still have a good mark (89, A) and my rank is 18, but I don't feel satisfied. At last, I also feel envious of some people got better mark than me (I know this is a bad habit). But please, don't misunderstand. Actually I feel like this because I think the test was not difficult. I just expect myself to be better. I wish at least I could get 90.

I have registered myself to join English Debate Club in UNS. I hope I can manage my time very well so I can handle both the debate activity and my study. I hope I can optimize myself for either both.

Suddenly I feel that I miss my middle and high school friends. I hope I can meet them I don't when but ASAP. I think it would be great if now I could share many stories with them as we used to.

One more thing, I found something interesting today. The first person I know in the faculty (let's say his name is C), 'coincidentally', he's friend with someone I really know in middle school (let's say her name is T). Him and she are friends in Facebook but it seems they don't know each other. Kinda weird, huh? However, I think it's something like destiny has something to do with this occurrence. I hope it's a good thing for all of us.

That's all for today. I think I gotta get back to my boarding house. Although I'm not sleepy yet, and I'm sure I don't know what I'll do 'till I get sleepy, I have to rest to prepare myself for tomorrow.

Fields of Hope (by Rie Tanaka)

(Translation)

Beneath a veil so cold,
You deeply sleep, all alone
The melody of prayer; on the lonely fields,
a little light shined

I watched as you dreamed
You laughed like a child
So dear, and yet so far -
That is the promise of our future

That one day, on a green morning,
One day, we will make it there
Because in this wintered sky
We still believe
Fields of Hope

On the day we were born, we were embraced
And now we search for those gentle hands again
The melody of prayer; one vanishes,
And all begins again; a powerless, painful continuation

One day, to that green morning,
We'll cross through all these nights
Because that is the place each one of us searches for

Now, within my own heart,
I want to keep you warm
So dear, and yet so far -
In the name of peace
Fields of Hope

So dear, and yet so far -
The fields of promise
Fields of Hope
Fields of Hope

So Far

It's been more than a week I've been in Solo. OSPEK has finished and it's kinda tiring. I think there is nothing to tell about the OSPEK. It's just the same everywhere. Homework and assignments all along, screaming, amusement, and anything and obviously, they all are impressive.

Now I only have to wait until September, 7th, for the holiday to go home. I truthfully really miss my home. I miss my high school friends. I miss my everything that I can't have right now. It's really hard to face this situation.

Few days ago, There were some seminars-like for all medical students. We all are told about how to study in Faculty of Medicine. And guess what? It's soooooo difficult for me to follow the case. Really it is. I mean I know I haven't experienced it yet, but in my opinion it seems hard. I don't know whether I can succeed as I hope or not. I'm so pessimistic right now. I'm way too afraid of what it may be like. *SIGH*.

At the time I type this, my mom has just left home. Now I'm totally alone in Solo. I don't have even a best friend yet. Maybe there are some friends I have in the faculty, but for me I need to have a very best friend that I think I can trust fully and rely on. And now, I still haven't found it yet (since it's been only few days).

I really want to have some best friends here. I hope I can make it as soon as possible. I need best friend.

In Solo, here, I think I feel cultural shock. Well, the culture of the people here is totally different from me. I don't know whether slightly I can adapt or not. I'm just afraid if I can't adapt, I may be stuck alone without friends here. I hope there will be someone who want to accept me as I am.

So far, I know nothing about what will happen to me next. I don't even have any idea if what have just happened are all right for me or not. Sorry if this blog sounds like I am dying. I just feel really terrible right now. Being alone in a strange city, I don't know how to express it.

(One of) Assignment of UNS OSPEK

My Wish

I now study in Faculty of Medicine in UNS (University of Sebelas Maret). As it is, of course there are things I really expect to happen in the future.

First of all, I hope Faculty of Medicine of UNS can provide me stuffs I need for my study. And then, through my presence in UNS, I wish in the future the faculty itself can be one of the best and most popular Faculty of Medicine in Indonesia. Moreover, I also have some expectations about my social life there. I hope I can be friends with so many people there, especially to make best friends.

For my personal hope, I wish I can improve my skills in academic and non-academic matters. I want to become somebody through my study in Faculty of Medicine in UNS, so that I can be someone useful one day for others. I also hope I can socialize there very well since truthfully, I’m such a shy person. I wish I can actualize myself in Faculty of Medicine in UNS. Thus, one day I can be a good doctor as what I’ve dreamt.

Last but not least, I hope all things may happen start from now can give some good impacts for my lovely country, Indonesia. I hope in the future Indonesia can be one of the most prospereous countries in the world that the people live peacefully

scattered

Too many inspirations came and then they were all gone. I didn't have time to blog so nothing was written down here. I've been stuck with all my days so long. Sometimes I got confused with something I didn't know what caused me confused.

I miss my highschool life, my bestfriends, my everything I used to have. And yet, I think I don't want to meet them now, I don't want to come to my highschool. It's not that I hate them. I only feel it's not the time to do so. I just have to freeze my time until the time I don't know.

The big news for some people about me, it's that I will study in UNS (Universitas Sebelas Maret) in Faculty of Medicine. The most one is very proud of me is my dad. He seems get very excited about. However, I don't feel proud of myself. I don't feel something special about it. I don't mean to underestimate UNS, but I just don't know why I feel nothing about it.

Now I'm very nervous of preparing myself to study to UNS. It's located in Solo, far enough from my hometown. It will be a very new circumstances for me there. I will meet many new people there and yet I feel unready. I feel afraid of what I may face there.

When many of friends are having time in their universities, I still doubt myself. Though, somehow I also feel impatient to see what will happen to me next in university. It can be anything, happiness, sadness, many things.

Speaking of which, I hate the fact that I have to take the train to Solo. It's more than uncomfortable, but also it needs a very long time for me to be in train since it takes more than 8 hours to arrive there.

It's been more than a month I guess that I help my parents working for family's businesss. Sometimes I get sick of helping them to work that I am lazy and get bored. However, it won't take a month for me to leave my home to Solo. Sometimes I think I maybe will miss my time here.

I've got a lot of planning for my future but I think it will be only few of my plans will be achieved.

Anyway, I apologize if what I've written this time is quite unstructured. I just don't know how to write down all of my thoughts and yet I still want to lay them down on this blog.