I still haven't been admitted in any university. It really seems hopeless for me. Anyway, I come to think of the SNMPTN examination days (it's 2 days). There are some bad incidents and some good events I experienced at the days.
I didn't carry one of the requirements for the verification at the time. It was SKHUN. Actually I forgot and didn't remember at all about it until the night before the test. My friend actually asked me via SMS about it that he reminded me at the night. However, pity me, it's already very too late. It's so impossible for me to tell my parents to be back to Jakarta just for that silly SKHUN. They surely would get so much mad to me if I did tell them.
Awfully, I also didn't manage well on the examination when people said that the questions were not difficult. See? I guess I totally failed on SNMPTN. I messed up my last chance. I really feel bad. I no more know what else I can hope otherwise miracle from God. I can't even rely on my own self.
On those two days, right after the examination I went to my alma mater, Regina Pacis Bogor. I didn't manage to meet some of my old friends there, but you know what I got there? I saw some Junior High School students there and they really reminded me to the moments I used to have on my daily. I really missed that moment. I missed all feelings I used to have back then, when I really wondered what will happen to me, what mood would occur on, what events I had to face day by day. Sometimes, I was afraid to go to school because I really didn't know what I might have to face on the day, but when it came surprising me and giving me a lot of things, I think I enjoyed it. I missed how I got along with many people back then.
Now I don't know what future may come before me. I feel that I need something that I can always hold for sure so I don't need to feel that I lose my things. I want to soon have a happy ending story in my life. It's so ironic, right, since I'm still very young. I know I can't have all moments in my past return to me and once it pass by seconds, it truly fades away.
If by any chance I can be so sure that I'm truly all right, or at least I can have somebody that will always assure me that I'm truly all right, I hope I think it can make me feel a bit relieved. Staying alive as someone that have parents who always scream at you or tell you all of their problems, and as someone who have big sentiment feelings about everything in past is surely hard. I wonder if things can change upon me, and I hope so.
I hope I still can believe in fairy tales, where everything is about a happy ending, and it's happily ever after. I hope all bad things I've experienced so far will be just like a fairy tale story, they all will end up happy ending ever after.
I didn't carry one of the requirements for the verification at the time. It was SKHUN. Actually I forgot and didn't remember at all about it until the night before the test. My friend actually asked me via SMS about it that he reminded me at the night. However, pity me, it's already very too late. It's so impossible for me to tell my parents to be back to Jakarta just for that silly SKHUN. They surely would get so much mad to me if I did tell them.
Awfully, I also didn't manage well on the examination when people said that the questions were not difficult. See? I guess I totally failed on SNMPTN. I messed up my last chance. I really feel bad. I no more know what else I can hope otherwise miracle from God. I can't even rely on my own self.
On those two days, right after the examination I went to my alma mater, Regina Pacis Bogor. I didn't manage to meet some of my old friends there, but you know what I got there? I saw some Junior High School students there and they really reminded me to the moments I used to have on my daily. I really missed that moment. I missed all feelings I used to have back then, when I really wondered what will happen to me, what mood would occur on, what events I had to face day by day. Sometimes, I was afraid to go to school because I really didn't know what I might have to face on the day, but when it came surprising me and giving me a lot of things, I think I enjoyed it. I missed how I got along with many people back then.
Now I don't know what future may come before me. I feel that I need something that I can always hold for sure so I don't need to feel that I lose my things. I want to soon have a happy ending story in my life. It's so ironic, right, since I'm still very young. I know I can't have all moments in my past return to me and once it pass by seconds, it truly fades away.
If by any chance I can be so sure that I'm truly all right, or at least I can have somebody that will always assure me that I'm truly all right, I hope I think it can make me feel a bit relieved. Staying alive as someone that have parents who always scream at you or tell you all of their problems, and as someone who have big sentiment feelings about everything in past is surely hard. I wonder if things can change upon me, and I hope so.
I hope I still can believe in fairy tales, where everything is about a happy ending, and it's happily ever after. I hope all bad things I've experienced so far will be just like a fairy tale story, they all will end up happy ending ever after.
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