Misfortune

The beginning of August 2011 was totally the opposite of the end of July 2011. There were many bad things happened to me. Bad luck!

1. I got sick on the first week of Fasting Month. It was just 3 days, but still was torturing me.

2. I couldn't participate in IMUN because my parents didn't want to pay the registration fee for me (as I mentioned in my previous post).

3. I wasn't accepted to participate in International Youth Day Conference held by GCC which will take place in Pacific Place.

4. many more

They all totally have got me depressed until now. I hate it when reality doesn't side with me. I just hate it.

By the end of July

Around the third and fourth weeks of July 2011, there were some surprises for me that I'd been waiting for. I know it's weird to call them as "surprise" when I say "I'd been waiting for them". The thing is, I'd already known for the news to come but I didn't expect them to happen due to my pessimism.

So, what are they?

1. I was accepted to be the member of the AMSA-INA White Paper Team for the East Asian Medical Students Conference (EAMSC) 2012 in Singapore.

To make it simpler, I will attend the EAMSC on January 2012 in Singapore because I become the team's member. Lucky for me my parents've allowed me participate in and agreed to fund me. Now I will have to work hard with my teammates to finish the White Paper because later we'll give presentation about Indonesia's Healthcare System Policy

A Story in Jakarta Model United Nations (JMUN) 2011

June, 26th - 30th 2011 was a very great week for me, and I am so grateful to ever have that week. I participated in Jakarta Model United Nations (JMUN) in General Assembly Social Culture and Humanitarian (GA SOCHUM) committee as a delegate of Yemen. Although at the first my parents didn't allow me to participate in, but then after I convinced them, they allowed me.

MUN is a simulation where people become representatives of their own countries (called delegates) in one of the committees in United Nations. in JMUN, there were only 3 committees they are GA SOCHUM, WTO, and UNHRC (United Nations Human Right Committee). JMUN itself is the second MUN that Indonesia has which the first is Indonesia MUN (IMUN). JMUN 2011 is the first JMUN, anyway.

What I am so grateful about is more than just being a delegate in JMUN, but it's the first time in varsity life I could find good friends and feel so happy to be with friends. JMUN has made me realized how much I've been suffering from pain not having real good friends in campus. I didn't feel any pressure there which I always feel it in campus.

Now I've realized that I lied to myself that my campus life was ok.

WHY?

I know it's kinda weird to suddenly appear again after a so-long-no-post with this kind of post. But just so you know I stand no choice. I mean, I am somehow moved to post this one, though I don't even want to. I don't even know why, but all of sudden I feel like tons of burdens on my shoulders, and my head, and chest, and my feet.

I really miss those times when everything was so much easy.
I miss those times when I didn't have to be a philosopher the way right now.
Probably it would be so much better if I only could do few things in life, not this much talented in many ways.
I even miss times when I was so much stupid, not knowing a thing.
what the hell is wrong with this world?
why is universe not tired to move even just for a second?
what is wrong with people?

Which Gossip Girl Character is me?

"Which Gossip Girl Are You?"

You are Blair Waldorf

You are the queen of the Upper East Side (or wherever it is you happen to live). You love your status and you tend to get what you want.

People want to be like you, but most don't realize that you have your demons as well. You tend to intimidate others, sometimes by accident, but usually with a purpose. You are a powerful manipulator and you use it to your advantage.
Friendship is important to you, but you don't let many people in.
Keep looking good and getting what you want! You may never be happy, but as long as others don't know, that's okay with you.

a little piece of my life I've had so far

Finally I asked it to her, my mom. My own mother. And as I had expected before, she didn’t know the answers. Honestly, it really disappointed me. I felt saddened somehow, though I already had known it.

They were just simple questions, very simple questions. But it seems that my own parents really never know me. Well, at the very first place, they never ask anything related to who I really am to me. No wonder then.

What’s my favorite food?

What’s my favorite toy/game?

What’s my favorite anime/cartoon?

What’s my favorite anime’s/cartoon’s character?

What’s my favorite book/comic?

Who’s my really best friend ever?

Who’s the world’s figure that I idolize?

My own mother doesn’t know the answers of those questions. I wonder if she ever really cares about me. She hasn’t even ever tried to know me by asking me. Poor me.

I may be lucky enough to have real parents who’ve raised me ‘till now, but they never know me or even try to know me. They haven’t even ever asked me about what I like and about what I want.

Now I really wonder whether they will shed a tear if I suddenly commit suicide then die. Really I do.