How Feminism in My Family Has Shaped Me

This piece was published in Magdalene.co on May 31st, 2018

I would not have realized how feminism has been internalized so much in me if I had never been asked by those who read my book why most of the short stories I wrote are about women and their fights although I’m a male writer.

At first I didn’t know the answer. I also wondered why I subconsciously made those choices for my book. My first guess was because of my nine years’ involvement in English debate tournaments, where equality for all had always been one of the hottest topics debated. Then one day I had a book discussion with Feby Indirani, author of Bukan Perawan Maria (Not Virgin Mary), and she told me: “Who and what you truly are will be reflected in your writing.”

Denials More Dangerous than Terrorism

On May 15th 2018, an article of mine got published in The Jakarta Post. The link to the online article: http://www.thejakartapost.com/academia/2018/05/15/denials-more-dangerous-than-terrorism.html

Memahami Dampak Kekerasan dalam Pola Asuh Orang Tua terhadap Anak

Tulisan ini dipublikasikan di: Pijar Psikologi pada 11 April 2018

Banyak orang memiliki keinginan untuk menikah dan berumah tangga. Umumya, pasangan yang menikah menginginkan kehadiran anak dalam keluarga yang sedang mereka bangun. Namun demikian, sayangnya banyak orang yang tidak menyadari bahwa merawat dan membesarkan anak bukanlah hanya sekadar memenuhi kebutuhan fisik dan pendidikannya saja, tapi juga kebutuhan psikologisnya.

Memahami Homoseksualitas dalam Perspektif Ilmiah

Tulisan ini dipublikasikan di: Pijar Psikologi pada 20 Februari 2018

Secara historis, homoseksualitas (dan juga biseksualitas) tidak pernah secara konsisten dianggap sebagai suatu penyimpangan social apalagi penyakit. Beragam budaya dan keyakinan memiliki pandangan yang berbeda dan bahkan berubah-ubah seiring waktu. Misalnya saja tradisi nadleeh dalam suku Navajo; bissu, calalai, dan calabai dalam masyarakat tradisional Bugis; pederasty dalam masyarakat Yunani kuno; atau bahkan adorasi terhadap keindahan tubuh dan paras laki-laki muda yang disajikan dalam puisi-puisi relijius yang ditulis oleh penyair atau imam-imam abad pertengahan.

Jakarta Diversity: Walking Out on Governor Anies

On November 18th 2017, an article of mine got published in The Jakarta Post. The link to the online article: http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2017/11/18/jakarta-diversity-walking-out-governor-anies.html

My Existentialism Through Literary Activity

Please pardon my narcissism, but I feel like sharing (and hence, enjoying) the publicity of my name in media. Thanks to Komunitas Sastra Pawon (Pawon Literary Community) in Solo that I've joined since few months ago that has made this come true.

http://solo.tribunnews.com/2017/01/26/balai-soedjatmoko-solo-akan-gelar-bincang-buku-berjudul-berkini-tiada-tara

Ego dan Kapitalisme

Also published in: http://www.qureta.com/post/ego-dan-kapitalisme October 3, 2016

sumber: http://orig08.deviantart.net

Dalam filsafat Buddhisme, disebutkan bahwa yang menyebabkan seseorang tidak dapat lepas dari roda tumimbal lahir adalah terdapatnya kotoran batin yang merupakan bibit dari kelahiran itu sendiri, sehingga seseorang akan terus terlahir merasakan penderitaan di dalam samsara (siklus kelahiran-kematian).

Disebutkan bahwa kotoran batin yang paling dasar dan paling sulit dikikis adalah ego atau keakuan. Ego atau keakuan inilah yang kemudian akan melahirkan kotoran batin dan penderitaan lain, seperti keserakahan, konflik sosial, kebencian, serta iri hati.

Dalam budaya konsumerisme, ego ini adalah instrumen halus yang menggerakan pasar kapitalisme. Ego merupakan alasan seseorang berperilaku konsumtif. Baik demi status sosial ataupun menikmati kemewahan dan kenyamanan, ego inilah yang sesungguhnya dijual dan ditawarkan oleh industri kapitalis melalui beragam barang dan jasa dengan harga yang hanya bisa dijangkau oleh mereka yang memiliki cukup uang.

What Is Love?

I came across this http://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2016/06/we-dont-always-end-up-with-the-loves-of-our-lives-and-thats-okay/ and found it relatable to me, or at least used to. I remember thinking of someone as the love of my life but couldn't end up with, and still cannot. The only difference is now I am not sure if the person is truly the love of my life. I may now have fallen in love with someone else and this new significant other of mine is probably the love of my life, or not. No one can ever know.

The article eloquently describes how it feels to have found the love of life but end up separated, and how it's okay.

Why I Choose Not To Believe

(This is originally my post titled "The Life Battle of Our Own, and Mine Especially", but then has been sent to Magdalene with some revision, and got edited and published)

original publication in Magdalene: Why I Choose Not To Believe

I’ve seen many of my friends or acquaintances put up fights against some gross injustices that oppress them or things that are important to them. They defend the rights of homosexuals, or advocate equal rights for women, or champion vegetarianism and ethical treatment of animals. They bravely speak up in public space against an unjust government, or fight for interracial and interfaith marriage. Each of them rumbles against society, against a world that imposes unjust values on their lives.

Reblog: Question of Your Life

Reblogged  from: http://markmanson.net/question/
Author: Mark Manson

Everybody wants what feels good. Everyone wants to live a carefree, happy and easy life, to fall in love and have amazing sex and relationships, to look perfect and make money and be popular and well-respected and admired and a total baller to the point that people part like the Red Sea when you walk into the room.

Everyone would like that — it’s easy to like that.

If I ask you, “What do you want out of life?” and you say something like, “I want to be happy and have a great family and a job I like,” it’s so ubiquitous that it doesn’t even mean anything.

A more interesting question, a question that perhaps you’ve never considered before, is what pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for? Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.

Meet The Inspiring Senior of AMSA-Indonesia: Adhitya Sigit Ramadianto

http://issuu.com/amsaindonesia/docs/arbor_vitae_7th_edition

Link attached is the arbor vitae 7th edition of AMSA-Indonesia. For the "Interview with AMSA Figure" section, I made an interview with Adhitya Sigit Ramadianto, MD., a senior in AMSA-Indonesia. (The interview was done before he got the title "MD" on his name, though). Due to some reasons, I make up my mind to create this post for showing my abundance of thanks to him for all inspiration he has given about being in AMSA.

I believe this will also be inspiring more of juniors in AMSA-Indonesia. Questions about why AMSA, why must become active, etc., you may find in his answers. Speaking of which, Congratulation to Adhitya S Ramadianto to have become a medical doctor and thus you enter AMSA Alumni Club. May your dreams in AMSA be shared more and more.


Here we go the interview:

How You Become The Writer You Always Wanted To Be

Reblog from: Thought Catalog
Original Author: Ella Ceron 

You will not begin with greatness. You will begin with putting words down on a page.

You will write because you want to, because you feel like you should. Because something in you was sparked one day in English class. Because you’re bored, because there is nothing else better to do, because somebody gave you a diary one year for your birthday and you figured you might as well try to use it. Because doing so sorts out racing thoughts and messy feelings.

5 Things Writing Has Taught Me About Love

Reblog from: Thought Catalog

Original Author: Matthew Begbie

1. Remember The Details

Writers are taught to pay attention to detail.

They remember the big things, the small things, and the things that never happened at all. They remember that yellow shirt from the 80s you wore the first time you met. They remember the first compliment they gave you and the way the four strangers at the table by the window smiled like they knew just how desperately it had been clawing to get out. Writers remember the first and only time you said “I love you” and how you meant it the way a sailor loves the wind, dependent and reliant. They can recall the stories you told to pass the time when you missed your train stop and all the stops they missed themselves. In the end, those are the things that matter the most.

Reblog: This Is How You Almost Date Someone

Reblog from thought catalog
author: Ella Ceron 

We existed in the strange in-between of the possible and the probable. It was in the unsaid, in the expected, in the logical next steps. Our friends accepted it, anticipated it, shook their heads and said, “It’s only a matter of time.” They’d ask sly questions and accuse us outright, and all we ever managed were shy smiles and hopeful maybes. We were almost dating. We almost dated.

S E E D : Anna Wintour (Reblog)

S E E D : Anna Wintour: “It’s always about timing. If it’s too soon, no one understands. If it’s too late, everyone’s forgotten.”  - Anna Wintour -
For everybod...(continue reading)

Date A Girl Who Writes

DATE A GIRL WHO WRITES

This is a reblog, but I can't find who the author is. So to the author out there for only God knows who, thank you to have made such post.
Moreover, I think it would be very amazing if I could have such girlfriend like mentioned in the post below :P

*
Date a girl who writes because she will be able to recall in detail the dialog between you two, and while it gets you in trouble, it’s endearing and sweet at the same time that she remembers. This also forces you to choose your words carefully and you will become an expert in diction.
Date a girl who writes because she understands the complexities of characters, and knows you are more than your successes, failures, winnings, or losses. She loves all the layers of you, all the deep parts and even the shallow. When you are acting like the villain, she will see the goodness in you. When you are the hero, she’ll still secretly admire your flaws. All the depths of you become her big adventure.

Date a girl who writes

As We Grow Older, We Must Be Used To Death

Reblogged from: thoughtcatalog
Original Author: Nayia Moysidis
Original Title: A Friend Died, and I had Not Idea

I found out from her mother. From her mother’s email. The one requesting photographs of our time together one summer long ago in London. She asked if I had memories I’d be willing to share. She said she’d be grateful. At first, I thought she was just organizing her daughter’s photos or making her daughter a scrapbook or surprising her daughter with images that had somehow been deleted from her daughter’s hard drive. All these thoughts to avoid the one that I feared above the rest.

But on her daughter’s Facebook page, I found my answer. I miss you more every day, her cousin wrote. I felt nauseous but still. Shocked and confused and ashamed and regretful, but still.

And then I found myself crying. Tears that weren’t just about her. Crying from shame for not knowing. Not just because I’d discovered such intimate news in such a public place. Not just because I immediately regretted not spending more time with her. Not just because my regret felt so futile and empty and foolish and cliche, that I was missing someone only after she was gone. Not just because I knew that her passing wouldn’t be enough to make me reach out to others. Not just because I felt

Unrequited Love

Reblogged from: http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/when-they-dont-love-you-back/

by:  Chelsea Fagan (February 11, 2013)

Entitled: When They Don't Love You Back

There’s a strange feeling that sometimes overcomes us when we’re reaching out to someone, this feeling of acute embarrassment. “Are we bothering them?” we ask ourselves, and almost wanting to apologize for even sending a message in the first place. It’s as though our very presence in their lives is a nuisance, and our efforts to connect as friends or lovers is one that only complicates things for them. We want to say, “I’m sorry that I want to talk to you, it’s weird and I should probably stop.”

The thing is, you can feel when you’re bothering someone. It’s not difficult to tell when you are the one who is always reaching out, always initiating contact, always starting the conversation. You realize in a way that is at once terribly humiliating and almost masochistically sweet that you are the one chasing after them. When they grant you