Stop Justifying Violence Against Children

 

This piece was also published by The Jakarta Post with title: Stop Justifying Violence Toward Children

Since the case of teacher pinching student that the teacher might face 3 years of imprisonment, many opinions have been spoken out in social media as well as in electronic media such as radio and television. Mostly disagree with the imprisonment of the teacher.

I don’t agree either for such case to be exaggerated to such extent. However, I also oppose those who support violence as appropriate punishment for children; no matter it is either practiced by the parents or teachers.

Many argue that back in the past, we were also punished harshly and violently as part of our educational system and we have now turned out to be okay and behave in accordance with propriety. To me, not only that’s an oversimplification, but also irrelevant.

Let’s say we were just fine by such punishment and educational system, but does it justify violence to be part of our educational process? Does it make violence a right means to discipline children?

Before answering such questions, we need to take a look first to the most important stakeholder here: children. What probably is in the mindset of children? What probably are their mistakes in school?

For all my experiences, reflecting to mistakes committed by myself and my friends back when we were still so young, it is either that the children are noisy in class, don’t finish homework, cheat on examination, play pranks on friends, or untidy hair and clothing.

Looking at those mistakes, do they make the children deserve violent punishment? Are there no other ways of punishment more relatable and proportional to their mistakes without violence? Do we really think that the teachers have right to punish their students in violent way just because the students commit such ill-disciplined behavior?

I believe that teachers are authorized to give proportional punishment to the students in relevant ways both to the teachers’ role and the children’s mistakes. For instance, the teacher can tell the student to leave the classroom if the student is making prank on his or her friends in the middle of the class or if the student is noisy that it disturbs the learning process in class. The teacher can give F or zero grade to the student if the student cheats on an exam.

In case the student still behaves inappropriately in school, the teacher can make a call to the parents informing and discussing with them about their child, and if the student is yet to perform better attitude in school, I believe the school has a number of assertive regulation to stop the student to keep disobeying the rules and making the situation not conducive for the learning process in class. Violence is not included here, though.

People have given example by making meme of primary students smoking or quarreling for which the teachers cannot punish them because are afraid of human right violation. I believe even that is an oversimplification.

I am not saying that such behavior is not wrong, but I am saying that, for such, we the adults are the ones who must be responsible for, not the children.

The truth is, we commit hypocrisy while forbidding the children to smoke or physically and verbally quarrel among them. Meanwhile, we are the ones who show them how to smoke and quarrel using swearing words. We tell them it is bad thus forbidding them but we excuse ourselves when we do so.

Now we must try to remember when we were children. We thought adults were always right and our role models, hence we imitate their behavior. This imitation process is a psychological development and it makes sense and it is natural. Lest we forget that even speech ability in children is developed by imitating the adults around them. That being said, children are not at fault when they smoke and use swearing words, but adults are instead.

Try to also remember the first time you lie when you were a child. I’ve asked many people and their answers are either because their parents tell them to do, or because the adults around them make a difficult situation for them that they fear of telling the truth. Again, even children’s lie is the adults’ fault.

Of course I opinionate that the children must not be allowed to smoke because it is unhealthy, but the same also goes to the adults. As far as I remember, however, most of my male teachers in elementary school smoke, even in school area. I was probably lucky that I couldn’t stand the smoke of cigarette and therefore I always dislike smoking (and I do not smoke).

The adults, either teachers or parents, are supposed to avoid any kind of corporal punishment and authoritarian treatment toward the children. Many researches in the field of psychology and psychiatry have found that such action cause the children mentally unhealthy in later life and unable to be creative and independently make personal decisions on their own, exactly as proposed by Baumrind 50 years ago.

Nonetheless, I experienced myself when my teacher in primary school punished me just because I asked some questions disagreeing with him, and he was annoyed and threw his tantrum on me. I was scolded in front of the class, and my leg was hit by a wooden ruler. I believe many other students have also experienced this. Children’s inquisitives were punished nonsensically.

That is why I believe sometimes when the teacher or parents get angry and punish, it doesn’t mean their basis of punishment is always right. Sometimes, they get angry for no reason related to the students just because they are having personal problems. I know it because I am now 24 and there are times when I feel easily irritated by other people’s action driven by my annoyance with my personal problem or mood swing. We all have undergone it, let’s be honest.

It is utterly irrational to demand the children who probably aren’t yet even 10 years old to be wiser and smarter than the adults. The teacher in school is supposed to be the one who is capable of giving empathetic and reasonable yet resolute explanation to the students compassionately. The teacher is supposed to be able to build a connection with the students and make them behave with understanding, not because of dictatorship. Adults are supposed to be the one who educate the children by showing propriety in behavior, not vice versa.

Just because a system or tradition has been ongoing for centuries, doesn’t mean it is right and always right to keep being performed. Just because it has been exercised by many people, doesn’t mean it is just. We were once imperialized for centuries, and we all know that imperialism is wrong, just like we deep down know violence against children is wrong.

Just because teachers and parents were born earlier and are older than children, does not mean they are always right and better than children. We adults need to learn to admit that even we can be wrong and not better than children. We must stop glorifying age against righteousness.

For the record, even animals teach their offspring how to live by giving example, not by physical and verbal violence. What about us humanity?