A Guy Who Reads and Writes, and Who Is Also A Poet

Not everyone is good to convey feelings and thoughts through verbal and loud voices. Some of us may be pianists who can only speak by the music score played on a stage, every key pushed, pianissimo or fortissimo or somewhere in between, and every melody hovered symbolize the heart of mankind, an age, a trip to someone's soul. Some of us may be physicists and mathematicians, who can only express heart by romanticizing logic and by speaking of world puzzles, something freak and nerd but genuine.

And some of us can only stay silent; we freeze and no voice by us can be made, as we're reading various books and diverse stories, and only with a pen we finally talk in quiet. Through the stare of eyes, and the movements of fingers, the only sound heard is the scratch on the paper, or the typing on the keyboard or typewriter. Solemnly, the brainwave is embodied beautifully and arranged carefully.

A guy who reads and writes, and who is also a poet.

He is kind of guy who craves for assorted information and stories. Music, Science, Fantasies, Politics, Sociology and Psychology, Art, Romance and Tragedy, Philosophy and Religion, Histories and Mythology, Past and Future, anything. You may find him reading article after article, newspaper or magazine, or carrying literary and contemplative books, and he looks so absorbed to a world only he knows of what it's like inside.

In his mind, there exists a realm that is different to our reality, a realm he creates based on marvelous ideas collected from many resources. His soul is too grand to be limited by the world, by what is real and what is not, and he understands best that even what people call as reality is actually transitory, might be hologram, but his ability to perceive the world is beyond senses and cannot be obscured by those limitation. He can see magic, miracles, meta-universe, and other wonders.

You will see him as a loner, mysterious guy who cannot be reached because you think he is too far away in the adventure within his infinite fantasies. But the moment you look deeply into his eyes, you'll realize that he actually is very near, he is everywhere because even time and space cannot confine his existence. And he knows that it is important to keep connected because he has experienced more lives than you know through stories he has read; he has suffered many sorrows, he has lost many people, he has given up much of  happiness, and thereby he never leaves anyone although his physical presence cannot always be present, and you'll soon feel the warmth of his heart and it makes you feel a kind of comfort you never find anywhere else before. You know he is the guy you will be seeking for when you are in trouble, only to hear his voice saying that you'll be alright even if this world might not.

The moment you have a seat by his side, you'll be surprised how all this time your existence has always been in his concern. He has created a world where your life doesn't have to be gloomy at all, a world where everybody could notice your beauties, because he always does and he wants you to be indefinitely happy. He reads you thoroughly; even the beauty of yours you never acknowledge, he sees it crystal clear and he wants you to feel gorgeous always. A tiny string of ocean reflected through your eyes that nobody ever realizes exist, it is significantly alive in his world.

Then comes a moment when you unintentionally read his writing work. You will find the arrangement of words, sentence after sentence, that mentally plays with your inner soul. He touches your heart with joy and pain, with understanding that you may have felt disappointment in life and you've wanted to run away but you stay anyway. And that's what everybody actually does. He sees through you and everyone, and he hears the yearning. So he writes about it, about struggle that all of us have had, and also about the hope that all of us are reaching, about the reasons why each of us decides to survive the wounds.

Not only he beautifies every love and faith, every hate and downfall of expectation in words, but he also experiences them. He resonates his soul to every life melody people have, then he further travels through those journeys, absorbed into the heaves of life stream because he understands best that every breath of life is the real liturgy. He feels you and he reveres your voyages, so he embodies every detail of them into a story that can be read and told for centuries, for millenniums, because he knows that you are special, you are irreplaceable, and you are worthy. He knows that you are an inspiration for this world and you deserve the world as much as the world deserves you. With him, you are infinite and eternal.

You can be anything you want to become without losing your real identity through his writing, because he knows that people are more than what they think they are, and he knows who you truly are: A Beautiful Soul. You can be fantastic heroes or villains, you can conquer the world, you can travel through space, or you can find your prince charming / lovely princess then live happily ever after. You'll find many things he can use to symbolize your gorgeous existence, to symbolize what you mean for him. You will be more than any literary art he has ever found, because you are now his literary art itself, you are the life for him he has written, phrase after phrase, page after page.

You know already that this world is full of noise, full of people talking loudly, and full of desire that emotionally wraps the stillness of night, and it kills the solemnity. Even without voices, nowadays people keep talking because of what our technology offers. But this guy knows that quietness is as much important because it is also part of our human nature, just like how death is not the opposite of life but the part of it. He knows that through quietness there is tranquility of mind, there is serenity of heart. There is inspiration and there is breathing life in every niche of stillness. Only in the whole darkness can we see the bright of stars and find gratitude for what the night has brought. Only in the midst of deserted land the fireflies show off their glows. And within the interlude between you and him, when no word conveyed at all, there can be a space for love, there can be a space for faithfulness, a proof that your heart and his heart are interlinked, inseparable against distance and silence. And when you look into your every particle, and listen to the sound of northern wind, you'll find that another story of yours is being written, is being enshrined and the entirety of Universe is the witness of it.

Because he treasures all memories spent together with anyone. He treasures much the old and new friendships he has ever had; for every moment passed through, for him it is for eternity. And when he falls in love, the love stays beyond ages. His love is beyond lifetimes and dimensions. It is worldly but also divine, it is a hell of heartbreaking but also gracious paradise setting his soul free. It is the best artwork ever carved on his life sculpture, the most beauteous writing has been and will be made.

If he falls in love with you, he gets awkward whenever he meets you and whenever has an urge to tell you what his heart speaks of. He may pretend to look cool and confident, but you will notice how the words uttered by his tongue and vocal cord are not placed in a right sentence. You will see how he actually is shy to voice out things that have been bothering his mind, but he's very fluent to write it out, so he makes a poem about it. He writes it in detail but full of tokens. He elucidates profoundly what kind of feeling he has been keeping for you, how he perceives it and what in his vision it is going to be.

You become his muse. You are his litany. You are the answer of his poetic prayers. The prose, the stanza, and the random short poems he writes now start talking about laying down on your lap, about having your ears hearing his beating heart, about going home to your embrace. His life is now only for waiting for you coming to him, and his writing romanticizes the unity between two souls. His spiritual journey is now about having a firm grip of your heart, hoping you will trust him that all of him loves you. His words, his silence, his prayers, his laughter, his tears, his life outside you, they all love you.

But can you love him? Are you ready to fall in love with a guy who reads and writes, and who is also a poet?

Because he has been grieving for the whole of his life and he will keep grieving. The lies and the truths are mixed together becoming his reality. He lives in a complex realm. He suffers from worldly poverty but rich his spiritual soul is. He wants to be with you but is still a loner. He wants to have life with you but is still a spiritual hermit seeking for liberation and chastity. He has so many layers of self, some of them are disguise, some of them are shields, and some of them are naked honesty; but anyway, they all are the real himself, they all are what he truly is.

His soul is tormented. His past was cruel enough that it has made him unable to speak through his voice but only in symbolized written words, and his present is still a torture that it has caged him forever. He carefully chooses his phrases to create a chapter that can only be understood by sincere hearts. He is mentally broken, he is emotionally damaged, and he is full of despairs. He absorbs people's griefs, heals people around him, but he cannot cure himself. He is lost in his imaginary utopia, trapped in the pit of devastation. He betakes himself to a room without enter so that nobody can come in interfering with him, so that nothing can hurt him.

Can you catch him when he runs away from life? Can you channel your consciousness to his grieving heart even when he locks himself away from anything? Can you wholly offer yourself as his remedy? Can you touch his heart even when he cries without tears, even when he talks without words and voices? Can you understand him even when he speaks in a silent metaphorical manner, and share his pain even in his darkest side of lamentation?

Because he is a guy who reads and writes, and who is also a poet.