The Chance of Happiness

“But who can say what's best? That's why you need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. My experience tells me that we get no more than two or three such chances in a life time, and if we let them go, we regret it for the rest of our lives.”

—Norwegian Wood, Haruki Murakami

Oft times, we complaint for the unhappiness we have in life, for the misfortune we believe keep being bestowed upon us. Life at that rate seems unfair and annoying. We of course wish to have joy and beauteous smiles like everyone else we aspire to be like. We just can't understand why it seemingly is our fate to be the unlucky ones overtime.

Happiness, might be something very expensive to have. It's like a wild rare flower that is hunted by everyone but available in a very limited stock. You don't know where and when it may bloom and sprout, and how long of time you have so that you can grasp it. Before you know it, the flower has withered and turned rot already, and you lose your moment of lifetime.

The main problem, however, is never about how much time we have, because the time is actually always enough, but whether we are ready and courageous enough to grab it. We are the ones who are afraid of happiness itself. We always trap ourselves within our own expectation and dreams, we cage our perspectives by the past and fear that keep haunting us not because they are evil but because we ask them so. We limit our reach of life. Meanwhile the flower of happiness is going to set us free, we are too frightened to fly.

Although the pain tends to be always inevitable and the accomplishment is never clear, but the patience is located on how much we are willing to let go of and sacrifice ourselves. We just have to be patient enough to finally find where our happiness should grow. To never lose our patience means to never lose hope. If we limit our patience, the pain we must endure will cause suffering the moment something is taken away from us. But if we fully let go, the patience would be limitless, and the happiness would appear in the moment we least expect it.

The real definition of life we can see is by how we are going to end it, by smile or tears of regret. However, the real definition of death is when we live our lives with full of grief and regret, escaping ourselves from truth.

We never know how we're going to be surprised the moment we can finally let go of those fear and disappointments from the past. When we finally allow ourselves to be happy by allowing someone to knock on the door of our heart and to walk into our lives. We never know what kind of flower we are going to receive, and how our lives become beautified by it.

This is about not repeating the same mistakes. This is about no longer regretting anything for the rest of lives. This is about gambling over life, about taking the risks and opportunities to be happy. And it can only happen when we are ready to fly, when we are ready to let go of what has happened in the past, be contented and grateful, and then we decide to move forward despite against the odds. The process may require many times of falling, may require stupid moves, may require letting yourself be vulnerable all over again. But surely we have something worthy waiting at the end of the road.

That's why, it's perfectly okay to sometimes be selfish, be egoistic, be afraid of life and the choices to make forward, because that means we have something very important to strive for; something very important to protect and hold onto, that we are okay to struggle the pain given by this world because of it.

And to love is a spiritual practice, yes, but it's also not. To love is just to love. To love is just a learning process of how to accept others, to trust, to let others be the key of our vulnerability but thus it strengthens us. To love is to be strong not only when we're alone, but also when we're with someone. To love is to let go of the fear of disappointment and heartbreaking.

To love is also to let go of ourselves, to be selfish but selfless at the same time. To love is to be ready to lose ones we dear most, to be ready to let go. And when the time must come parting people, to love means to let go.

To love is just to love. It may have nothing to do with spiritual practice. We don't have to think of spirituality when we love. Because when we love, we just love. If spirituality should be enhanced when we love, then so be it. But it also may not, so be it either. Because when we love, just love.

That's why we don't have to feel bittered whenever we see people become so selfish. Because that just means they have something to strive for; they love something. There is love in every selfishness, and thus there is also selflessness. Because there will always be something people sacrifice of themselves when they become selfish and full of ego.

The moment we can realize it, we can appreciate everyone and whatever they do. We won't be bothered by the bad deeds, because we can see the good instead. And that's how we become happy, by loving ourselves, by allowing love to fulfill our days. And that's the only way we can spread the love to others as well, and it means spreading the seeds of the flower of happiness.

This kind of happiness may not last forever. And it's also okay. What matters is for us to enjoy every single moment we have. When the time comes for this happiness to leave, just let it fly, and then we can always open ourselves to new possibilities of new happiness. We cannot decide whether it's to rain or not, but we can always choose whether we want to dance with the flow of water.