It's hard for me to say anything what's in my mind, but it's also hard for me to just keep silent and do nothing to try getting myself better. It's not that every single thing happen to me is bad and sadness. I also have a lot of happiness here, but as we ever heard, 'the more happiness we have, the more sadness we also have'.
I don't know which one I have to tell first, happiness or sadness. Well, apparently I don't even know what exactly makes me feel sad or upset. I somehow just feel sad without any particular reason. Maybe it's because of the premonition I lately got, a bad premonition. I'm so afraid of having this kind of premonition. Especially as a diviner, we can do nothing about what we foresee. It makes me feel bad.
I got some bad news about what happens to this world, and also to some my friends. They somehow experienced things that made them sad. Somehow I feel like I'm connected to them that I also feel their sadness. The worst is that lately there are so many accidents happen around me. It makes me feel even more afraid.
Fortunately, I have so many good friends here. This is very weird because usually I can't get along with people that easily. But here, things are different. I can be friends with many people very easily. I'm even confused why I can be this different. I'm so thankful to God that I am blessed with so much love here. Maybe I'm a little luckier than some my highschool friends. Some of them seem that they have a difficulty in socializing with some people in university. I think it's because that my surroundings are even much better than theirs. I have many good seniors here. They really help me a lot either in academic matter, or in socialization. I really feel like I have a family here.
I ain't gonna talk about any academic problem. academic stuffs will never be a big deal in life, at least not as big as any other aspects.
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