scattered

Too many inspirations came and then they were all gone. I didn't have time to blog so nothing was written down here. I've been stuck with all my days so long. Sometimes I got confused with something I didn't know what caused me confused.

I miss my highschool life, my bestfriends, my everything I used to have. And yet, I think I don't want to meet them now, I don't want to come to my highschool. It's not that I hate them. I only feel it's not the time to do so. I just have to freeze my time until the time I don't know.

The big news for some people about me, it's that I will study in UNS (Universitas Sebelas Maret) in Faculty of Medicine. The most one is very proud of me is my dad. He seems get very excited about. However, I don't feel proud of myself. I don't feel something special about it. I don't mean to underestimate UNS, but I just don't know why I feel nothing about it.

Now I'm very nervous of preparing myself to study to UNS. It's located in Solo, far enough from my hometown. It will be a very new circumstances for me there. I will meet many new people there and yet I feel unready. I feel afraid of what I may face there.

When many of friends are having time in their universities, I still doubt myself. Though, somehow I also feel impatient to see what will happen to me next in university. It can be anything, happiness, sadness, many things.

Speaking of which, I hate the fact that I have to take the train to Solo. It's more than uncomfortable, but also it needs a very long time for me to be in train since it takes more than 8 hours to arrive there.

It's been more than a month I guess that I help my parents working for family's businesss. Sometimes I get sick of helping them to work that I am lazy and get bored. However, it won't take a month for me to leave my home to Solo. Sometimes I think I maybe will miss my time here.

I've got a lot of planning for my future but I think it will be only few of my plans will be achieved.

Anyway, I apologize if what I've written this time is quite unstructured. I just don't know how to write down all of my thoughts and yet I still want to lay them down on this blog.