The Life Battle of Our Own, and Mine Especially

I've seen many of my friends or sheer acquaintances put up a fight against nonsensical injustice that has been oppressing them or something important to them. Be it those who voice out the rights of homosexuals, or those who advocate about women's rights and feminism, or those who campaign about how important it is to be vegetarian respecting animals as fellow living beings, or who bravely speak up in public spaces against the unjust government, or who struggle for interracial and interfaith marriage, etc. Each of them rumbles against society, against nearly the whole world that has been imposing unfair values to our life.

Reflecting on those astounding and amazing individuals, I wonder if there is also anything that I've been struggling, trying to stand up for because it's worth the fight. I inquire myself if there is anything I may accomplish in life, not just mundane achievements or fame, but something useful and worth the life I've spent.

I realize that there is one thing that I've been trying to rebel, to smash or break since I was a child. It is the wall of religion. Religion that has been confining me and condescending my humanity.

I remember how I was taught that people with different religion will be sent to hell, no matter how good of people they are. I remember how I was very close to my Christian cousins and I loved them but my heart ached because in Islamic teaching I was taught they were sinners.

When I was in Islamic elementary school, I decided to enter Catholic Junior High School in the city, and most of my teachers and friends kept cornering me not to do so. They badmouthed about Christianity and even made up stories about Muslims who entered Christian school and then ended up converting their faith. The teachers offended me right in front of the class about my decision to pursue my education.

In Junior High School, there was a teacher teaching subject of Catholicism that offended Buddhism in the middle of the class, and she directed her hate speech right to the face of a Buddhist friend in the class. My family members also kept preaching me that my non-Muslim friends were not good people because they're not Muslims. When I fell in love with a Catholic girl, my parents physically abused me for years, and there were times when they fronted my friends saying that they were the ones who influenced me.

In university, there were Christian friends who tried to convert me into Christians. I enjoyed being friends with them and I didn't really care about religion anyway, so going to church just to spend time together with them I thought it would be fine. However, turned out they were trying to make me converting. I found it heartbreaking. All I sought for was sincere friendship, but they just cared about their own personal divine gain and benefit within religion.

As much as Muslims badmouth about Christians, the Christians also badmouth about Muslims. Just like how we can hear Sermon in Islamic Friday Prayer offend other religions, the Sermon given by the Christian Priest also offends other religions. Each of them also emphasizes that any religion other than their own is controlled by demons. Problem is, they don't know about each other from the inside, but they hate each other.

Since I was in elementary school, I kept silence about my disbelief in religion and particularly the kind of God people talked about. I had my own concept and idea about what mattered was kindness and should God exist, God would be about love and benevolence.

Moreover, I've read various kinds of science since I was 5. Like how the earth was an ocean of plasma million years ago, about dinosaurs, about evolution, about how Universe was once formed, about black hole, and about various ancient beliefs and mythologies. When these explanations made sense more to a 10 years old child, naturally that very child would question against religious teachings, especially if the religion kept indoctrinating about hatred towards fellow human beings.

To me, it is because of the religion that two people who love each other cannot be together just because they come from different religious background . It is because of the religion that the LGBT people are mentally and physically oppressed. It is because of the religion that historically many ancient texts were demolished because they were labeled as satanic. Religion teaches sexism or gender inequality by saying God created men, and women were created from men and hence women belong to men. You can argue that religion teaches love, but you cannot deny there are verses that also teach hatred. Many people have been murdered due to religious reason; this is a fact we can't deny.

When people claim religion teaches truth, in fact it is the one that forbids us to be inquisitive, not to question life and universe. Religion is so much afraid of losing followers that it menaces people whoever question its absolutism will receive punishments. Religion is a self-claimed truth and it hinders us from our quest of truth.

Religion teaches to avoid superstition because it may lead to anything demonic, but religion forgets that even its whole teachings are superstitious that it camouflages as divine miracle.

Religion dictates me to enjoy animal slaughtering, and thus to shed blood for the deity. Which part of this rite do you think that is not superstitious and psychedelic, if not at all pagan?

Religion demarcates people's freedom of faith. It emasculates our conscience from being plausible. Not only am I not allowed to believe in science despite every scientific evidence and its mathematical calculation, but also I am not allowed to opt and decide which religious belief I want to identify myself with and practice.

My whole life has been full of being forced to practice one certain religion out of my will, and I've been threatened if I don't obey.

That is why I understand how the religious oppression feels like, how it violates my rights and my essence of humanity, and how it spreads fear instead of love. Instead of salvation, religion brings slavery upon my life.

And that is what I'm fighting for. To stop the coercion of faith. To be free and no more secretive of what I believe, of what I want to believe in and practice. To have liberty of choice without any fear of any kind of menace.

I know there are other people out there who struggle for the same thing as I do. There are those who want to ask so many questions, seeking for answers regardless the dogma. There are those who want to freely believe in whatever they believe as true, and hence can exercise their belief without having to worry about any threat coming from people with different beliefs

I don't hate religion. Neither do I argue for people to leave their religiosity. In fact, people consider me as religious; but I believe religion should be about setting us free, about comfort and security. It has to be universal and without label or any boundaries. It should not constrain. And for that kind of future I seek for, to stand up I won't stop.