Below is my blog-post I made 2 years ago, on 23rd February 2011. I don't really remember what I thought and felt back then, but I know (from the blog post) I was going to join AMSA-UNS (a medical student organisation) and SEF-UNS (an English debate forum/society of UNS).
A little image of reasons why I was so worried about joining both of them, was because AMSA had been inactive for more about 1 year and had nearly no active member at all two years ago; and SEF (in my perspective; sorry seniors :P) wasn't really active and good in debate. Both were DYING. However,
I've made up my mind to join both of them far before I had been accepted in the university. I had planned since high school to join AMSA and to continue my debating-life in varsity. That's why I didn't really care what people said, I still joined both.
and as the facebook status I made before this note created:
"it's funny to see my own blog-post I made 2 years ago how I worried about joining 2 dying student organisations in campus I was so gonna enter, because one didn't have any member (almost) at all and one didn't have any senior could coach the activity (as it wasn't really active).
Yet in the process I made both revived and they're still alive now (in far better condition with some achievements)..I can't believe what I've done myself.
Any guess what are those two student organisations? LOL.."
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Busy and Tired and Confused
As you read the title, it's exactly that I'm now way way way so busy and tired of all this being busy. I wish I were still in my holiday. Too many things to do is exactly what I hate of being universty student, especially medical student. Assignments and examinations make me feel so damn stressed. Moreover, I also have to think about and take care of AMSA and SEF. This feels so disastrous. Though I know I was the one who chose to involve myself in this circumstances, but I think this is really out of my expectation.
Honestly, this is exactly the reason why I said that I was unready yet to get back to faculty. I've foreseen this. And I, anyway, hate to admit it. #starttoberandom #whatsoever
I'm afraid that AMSA will be lacking of members, and will fail to revive itself. I'm afraid that SEF won't be able to really have either good debaters or good development, especially since I think I want to continue to debate but it's hard to do so if the circumstances in SEF-UNS is still this way.
I'm very tired to face all of the stuffs. Academic matters and non-academic matters. They all are killing me softly. You know, I've been insomniac for more than 2 days because all of the stresses.
I don't know whether I can make it through. I don't know if I can keep going on. Well, it's not that I'm pessimistic towards myself, but I'm just tired and hate it to be this way. I seriously need rest.
I'm also confused about what I have to do towards SEF. The debating class is like a dark forest without any soul. I need the spirit of anyone there to improve myself. I need them to be enthusiastic and excited about debate.
Nevertheless, AMSA is also making me awry. I don't know what else I can do to attract people to join AMSA (as I'm still trying now). Well, money thingy is the hardest trouble people will always have when they want to join something, and I don't know what I have to say to assure them.
These problems happen upon me when I'm right in this 2nd semester, and this semester is totally frustrating. Many labs, many assignments, many examinations, and the best part of this hardship is that the subject is much more way difficult than the 1st semester *logically it's so common but I hate it* (still newbie in varsity life). I don't know what else I can do. I'm stressed out and frustrated. I'm sick and sleepless. I probably almost die at this rate.
Someone, please gemme outta here!!! Right now
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Now must I say, the blog-post feels like so excessive response. It was never really that hard. It was never really that bad as I thought it would be. And the blog post is really a joke for me now. I should've taken it easy.
"if you wish hard, the dreams will eventually come true" -Watanuki Kimihiro-
and as many people say: when there is a will, there is a way.
Perhaps it's prodigy, perhaps it's blessings, perhaps it's anything; but one thing for sure, Willingness and Effort will never fail us. All we must do is never give up.
You know it's so damn right that we must write down every story of our life and keep them safe. One day in the future, we'll be laughing at ourselves seeing how silly we used to be and how far we've grown as we read those stories.
As for now, I either have become inactive member or have quitted AMSA-UNS for some reasons. I'm still debating and now also adjudicating. AMSA-UNS yesterday has just held its AMSA Gathering for the inauguration of new members from batch 2012. AMSA-UNS also in the last past 2 years has gained some achievements. It's got quite many active members for now. 3 AMSA international conferences were joined; and it has ever held AMSEP an international event, reckoned.
SEF-UNS, we've got some debaters as I'm making this facebook note, some prospective newbies, and some achievements of course. Not yet considered to be strong in national, but we've shown some competitiveness and skills. We start to show that we're alive and not bad (I'm not brave enough to say 'good' since good in debate is definitely still far than what we are now. LOL).
Now, who said turning zero to one million is impossible? who said turning trashes into gold is ridiculous?
You know, some ever said that to me two years ago, but I've proven them wrong.
As Horace said in his Satire and as Holmes quoted him in Study in Scarlet:
'Populus me sibilat at mihi plaudo Ipse domi simul ac nummos contemplor in arca'
(The public hiss at me, but I cheer myself when in my own house I contemplate the coins in my strong-box.)
Lastly, I'd like to thank everyone who've helped me in the process to realise those dreams of mine. I've enjoyed enough, I've gained good enough. Some Done. Some Still Ongoing.
Let's see what I can do and can be in the next future.
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