Happy Sinning

It's always hard to get rid of daily habit in a glimpse, but you know it's always harder to get rid of hobby you've been clinging to, especially in times of denial. They said, escapism is sweet. And I believe no one can  disapprove it.

You see every drama player can never live peacefully when there is no drama around, and sometimes their nature seeks it for them unconsciously. Once you've got used to every difficult paths to pass, the smooth one will be the most difficult to live on. Perhaps but surely, that's exactly what makes us break our promise to God to walk the journey given in divine way. One thing however to remember, we're not Buddha. Everytime we thought we're enlightened, the demonic temptation would viciously always chase us after. Before we knew, we'd already fallen into the despair we ourselves chose despite hating. But then again, as it's said nothing can last forever, neither can illumination.

As they said, prohibition can never win against exhibition,
neither can being a saint overpower being a sinner; at least once in a while. Because sometimes being a sinner means to reveal what you are or either what possesses you inside, so that you'd know what you need to fix (what's been so wrong), or to get (what is right).

So here's my testimonial, one huge trouble passed isn't enough lesson to reconcile myself with myself. I successfully forced the new me to swallow my own vomit, and tomorrow I'll have to prove the world that I'm still the same old me; I don't seem to have changed nor realized my past mistakes. But shit happens, and wise people would say things happen for a reason or more. Let's make a wish for the best: the wisdom is reliable and is still valid up to in the future.

At the very least that I am ashamed of myself saying so, I excuse myself for being tired after two days of adventure in Malang, performing my adjudicating skills which for the first time of any event I dissented 5 out of 7 rounds of debate. I could reason myself but it's still 4 times dissenting in a row + 1 in semifinal round. Or perhaps better and worse, I am tired after 3 weekends I spent going around to some different cities in Java. One for ALSAMUN in Semarang, one to triumph 2nd Runner Up Position in ACDC UGM ver. 7.0., and last is to finally realize that debate is not only in Jakarta nor Jogjakarta.

Certainly my parents will kill me if they find this out, or even find this to turn out disastrous again for my study. I am prone to extinction by any definition.

I am, anyhow, not yet at my end of life. You'll see me still whispering sarcastically to all frienemies by words "Populus me sibilat at mihi plaudo Ipse domi simul ac nummos contemplor in arca". It's either me who's on page 6 because of my outstanding fame of righteousness that they dislike, or them because of their shameful mistake ever in every history could it be written. In the end of the day I laugh all the way receiving news how lame my traitors have kept becoming after kicking me out. Obviously, what is fake will always be fragile; they are prone to need of bail out.
I just wish you, political-interest-wannabe students, to have one round of celebration in your organizational collapse. Happy self-destruct!!

XOXO